In My Secret Life

Many Thanks

2010-02-09T04:15:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's not bad to be taught

How did my teeth become so yellow?

2009-10-11T03:45:00.000-07:00

I drank too much coffee.
Did you see my teeth tonight?

I'm planning to change my last name to Chanel, any objection?

Nothing but diet again

2009-10-07T03:11:00.000-07:00

G. gave me a stupid nutritious food list today.
Until I became a dieter, I had a serious bug up my ass about buddies with "food problems." Them who go out to restaurants have nothing to eat tho, them who ask for variations with thick impudence to their dishes, those them are no good... But I'm joining them for the purpose of giving my list-giver satisfaction.
Emma told me she's taking a 'food course', once a week. And she's still doing the instant noodle every single meal. I'm confused.
Tuesday nights are always a bit of a mess. It's the most desperate day within a week. Not like a slumberous Monday, not like a promiseful Wednesday... Tuesday is sober and blue. I just had some coffee, apparently, I'm bullshiting.

Anyways, I'm gonna follow the list.
Just keep on record here.

my lovely sat.

2009-10-06T07:48:00.000-07:00

intoxicated

he's cute

dancing queen blocked off the sun

fuck you

how's the other side

booooooobs woohoo

they begged me to shoot them

he's hot

small boobs

narcissistic

so all are under our feet

i'm scared of getting fat

1234567890?

got high routine face

before weeds

mountain people mountain sea

public transportation

the train was completely overloaded

and I stood all my friends up at that night
I overslept...
sorry to my dear princess
sorry sorry sorry

Love Evolution

2009-10-01T02:15:00.000-07:00

I'm going to have a bit of this party this weekend. I saw some last-year pictures offered fervidly by Clancy before, actually, internally I gulped. People do snog, make out, finger, blow? lick? full sex? etc. there.
Why am I still going? Why?
Because I am changing. (I think I could be more popular if I become more open-minded.) I've always been too parochial about sex though I am still a bit taken aback by this kind of parade. But I became interested that fellatio does high up the brain than cunnilingus. I'll check it out the coming Sat., well, by observation.
I will take "great great" pictures, and I think I'll be completely beyond Vivian.
Actually, I felt uncomfortable at the idea of nudity and people's very public intimacies. It doesn't seem right somehow. I do wish I live in a culture that people are cutely crazy, but not like what Americans are so into.
Am I too self-contradictory?

When I think of Merci's car, ewww... I start to feel unaccountably angry. My bag is stink now due to his damn B.O. car. I decided not to talk to him again.

This is a warm up for my real party we are going to in couple of weeks...
Hurrah! Halloween!!!

Wish u a Happy Birthday

2009-09-28T20:29:00.000-07:00

Us girls we are so magical

How can I trust you AGAIN?

2009-09-25T09:54:00.000-07:00

A post outlining my hopes for you, going forward.

School Stincks

2009-09-19T02:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day of school! I was so nervous. I didn't know what to wear but I felt like every year on the first day of school I blew it. I really afraid of not having friends in my lunch.
Away from everything old. It is sad to pretend I am nice, I want to party, laugh hard, and have some huge fun like my life in Maple. I keep meeting "nice" people and it makes me feel really cynical. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells because everyone is just so friendly, it gets boring.
I feel so insecure in school... without you this year...

The shortest email ever...

2009-09-19T00:52:00.000-07:00

"Vivian,
I hope your trip was nice!
Best,
Gary"

The Vampire sent me this last night, so lame. But I also hope he is so fine with his fantastic SaWaDiKa.

公公 in 家好月圓

2009-09-15T12:54:00.000-07:00

家好月圓 is the best 港劇 I've ever watched.
And 公公（周聰）is so adorable and worthy of all my respect.
I thought of my 公公 while I was watching 家好月圓. I daringly wish my 公公 is 周聰...
Is that bad?

I miss tata.

2009-09-02T15:10:00.000-07:00

Happy midlife Birthday to my dearest tata.

I'm so fat.

2009-09-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

I am so fat...
Gosh.

I love you.

2009-08-28T04:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes at the class, I start thinking of you and then ask myself, Why do I love you?

I really miss London.

2009-08-27T01:11:00.000-07:00

I have always believed in living without regrets and I'm proud to say that this summer has taught me a lot! It's been a summer of extreme growth and challenge and I know the coming academic year is going to be even tougher. I thought I did believe in enjoying the process, but I start realizing that a good plan for my life is more important than just enjoying it. Anyway, I still have dreams, goals, necessities and passion. I hope my plans gonna become true:

Learn about the editing and producing of a short film because one day, I'll probably need them for my own wedding and my starry-eyed business.

Learn to listen and compromise. I can't always be so selfish and get everything I want without giving up some of my freedoms, thoughts, ideas, and desires. It's so easy to be stubborn especially when you think you know what you want or what you think is right. I'm good at listening to be honest, but I have to think for others after listening to them.

Stop being lazy. Things have always fallen into my lap and I have to stop just sitting there and letting myself get used to people(Amazing...Tata...Ma etc.)making things happen for me. I would love to be more active in creating our future. I love our life, and it's just like you, Amazing, but I have to learn to be more responsible and less dependent on my Black Powers. Also, stop being so lazy on a social level as well. When
friends ask me out, or when they ask me to go on a trip somewhere, (Pat, I feel so sorry about our trip to TaiWan) I should do it and stop making excuses for myself. It's a great way to meet new people, get new ideas, and relax. I'm never as tired as I think I am, and these are experiences that are going to make life much more rich and fulfilling.

Finish my tasks one at a time. Continue to have new ideas, but to make sure to complete the first task first, and without too much haste. Being passionate is great, but I have to learn to keep the FIRE alive. No more Miss 3-minutes.

I should add more depth to my writing. My skills has bogged down for years. I may not be able to making money doing the write things. But if I can reach some powerful people... who knows where it may lead!!!

PHOTOGRAPHY!!! I always envy Dannie, whose pictures are just so unbelievable, I search for good pictures almost every day in my life. I should learn from them and I will also be able to frame the perfect shot or know how to use the perfect lighting. Life is the best classroom as long as you make the most of it.

Know my strengths, and be confident. Learn how to relax and just be me. The hardest thing to do for now is to relax. I'm totally a coward. I sometimes lost my faith to life. So get healthy. Maybe this should be on the top, but we definitely can't do as well if we are not physically, mentally and emotionally healthy, so it is my biggest goal this coming academic year to take care of my body in all aspects. To eat healthy, to get as much good sleep as I can, to work out, and to know when to relax and when to push myself a bit further.

Read newspapers and follow on current events.

Stop being so afraid to try new things.

Learn how to dance.

I’m sure I’m going to add more to this list in a few hours.

Go Cambridge next year.

Stupid Short W.

2009-07-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

Le Gavroche

Marcus Wareing

The Capital

Ave Alex Andrew and I somehow are after a touch of luxury, and these above are London's most exclusive and glamorous restaurants we will enjoy. I believe there is no admittance for short guys because Ave is 185cm, Alex is 180cm, Andrew is 182cm and I am 174cm. Man like W. would have to go through the door for other creatures because he is 150ish I think. But short men are liable to fit jealous rage, and W. proves. Taller men tend to be natural physically dominant, social influence, or model, and Ave Alex and Andrew can prove.
Life serves men right.

Wake Up Somewhere Else

2009-06-27T14:53:00.000-07:00

TaiWan-London-France-Turkey-Geneva-BeiJing-New Zealand-Australia
My trip seems a bit too round world.
The most amazing city to me is still her.

"Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas"
(Waking Up In Vegas)
I always love this stupid song just because it's accompanied me through my last year. Maybe I should let Vegas in.

I miss you.

2009-06-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

There's just something about being school-free that makes me miss my lovely rommie and the frolic around with her. Her smile is just so tempting. She is the definition of brilliant. But then, there's still about thousands things to do before I can see her, so I probably shouldn't be feeling quite so roomiesick.

And I don't know if I am not insane, but apparently I've been making a thorough investigation of that Acid Attacker whole night. I figured out four types of suspects. Unfortunately, that would mean I'd finally give that rising reward up because the theory of probability of four types is too inaccurate.

Well, I'm actually supposed to take a practice test for LSAT right away. It takes three fucking hours, but I figure since RedBull has been dismissed from my life, it's usual to be distractingly. Oh my god. Seriously, who would have thought I'd be here right? Fine, everyone has.

BTW, I have s super splendid story to tell. Next time, diary.

Recent

2009-06-08T15:25:00.000-07:00

(waiting for a ferry to Cheung Chau. Such a foolish beat with my fat ass on mom's lap.)

It's been a long time, diary.
My life has been just so unbelievable great lately. Eat, Sleep, Prattle... Repeatedly.

But actually, there's been a lot going on, despite having my life dominated by idlesse. Last day, that's it, and after that, it will all about DIET and STUDY. One hour fitness per day, three hours reading anyway, hell yea. HELL.

Police earlier posted rewards totalling HK$600,000 for information about MongKok acid attack, I was really excited on that, because JUSTICE came pretty profound in my life, also I rudely want to gain that reward. I will lie in wait for the suspect all the way with my scheming head. I'm sure that someday in the not-so-far-off future, the suspect will be brought to justice. Personally, I think this person could go to hell, but then, who am I to judge, right? I'm always biased, after all. And then, this person went ahead and learned the trick we have conjectured three attacks ago. Granted, 100 police officers still couldn't break through it. Plus, there was a $1.7 million surveillance camera system installed as a result of the previous attacks went into operation.

To tell the truth, it wasn't so much the “Siege" that I had an issue with. I really admired somehow this marriage thing, actually, but I'm beyond glad that Sara told me her story. I don't think I've really thought about getting married since then. And then that Chris and John's fabulous wedding invitation ended my phobia, and I was just like "8D" suddenly.

Yea, I had more to write about, but I gtg to work now. So bye diary.

（I just love this photo.)

Some BS b4 Shut Up

2009-05-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

( From the Belated Sweet Blurred Email Attachment)

My charmed circle has so much talent. Artists, singers, musicians, super academic people, writers, dancers, super humorers. I admit I'm jealous. There's very little I'm good at, just a bunch of stuff I'm mediocre at. I was affected with the wish to become an Allen style lawyer, but I can't express my innermost feelings even to the nearest and dearest palsywlsy. I guess my career is ultimately turning into an anticlimactic illusion. Allen has everything I ever want, but since he got the word salad stuff (I just knew it today) I become the who has health has hope; and the who has hope has everything. (Thomas Fuller)

I wish I could make people around me happier, and sometimes make them laugh their pants off. I wish I could be a maturer, a more thoughtful and considerate person. I wish, the decisions I make for myself, will be the best ones for me. I wish, I don't make people cry. I wish people will still love me for who I am, WITH my ..sometimes annoying temper and rudeness.

But that's just a thought. I'll be the change -- I'll change, to make my wishes a step closer to me.

Night-nine, city.

Quintan

2009-04-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

(another Emma comes from my favorite)

175 pages left to go to review for quiz. Left textbook at the classroom, but I just didn't have the patience in me to take it back, so here I am, lying in my bed eating up the whole bag reminiscent delicious bagel crisps. It's 12:54, meaning I should be getting to sleep soon so I can wake up and get the hell ready for another weekly excruciation.

This is karma. This is what I get for taking the Sunday off to actually have fun for a change... I'm not even in the mood to rant properly.

Fxxk. It's Monday again.

my plan 4 today

2009-04-26T08:38:00.000-07:00

Break me!
The cursed "Eternal Sunshine" thrust into my cozy little room seriously early in the morning. Under normal circumstances, I would have thought this to be a great day, and there must be something I should perpetrate and think about. Today, however, all it makes me think about it is: FIVE PROJECTS DUE DAYS.

Break me!
Miss Owl has just sent me an SMS, "Let's cash in on the super duper fine weather and go out!" OMG, SHE is AWAKE!!!

Break me!
FUCK homework. I will have a wonderful tanning day!!!

(wicked tongue after wakeboarding last summer in HK)

This is not what life is about.

2009-04-25T04:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure how to phrase this, but I suppose we're in the home stretch now.
沖刺， right？
Dozens of days from now, I will live, eat, breathe, suffer the HELL. I have officially put on my life on hold until then.

I just came back from my gym where Boston Legal was on. I tried so hard to double my exhaustion to finish my most longing episode, but I finally was driven by my mind with appetite after five extra minutes. Eyelids are fighting; I need go to bed now when people are about to dinner at the time. I sleep ridiculously hungry this time. Slim me, Morpheus.

Life is to be enjoyed.
This is not what I want.

No More School !!!!!!

2009-04-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

I've been up for all night long!!!
I am still wide awake!!!
What is wrong with my life?

I can't wait until summer, where I can finally get a job and work on something other than schoolwork. Not much better, but, at least its different.

I'm not really looking forward to going to the funny gathering though, just because I don't know how annoying they will be. And they just have to realize that I pretend to be nice and can't tolerate their/HIS crazy antics. I want HIM dead, specially sitting next to him every other day， and later...

我要融化了

2009-03-06T02:07:00.000-08:00

這就是俺和俺的朋友們

this is my stupidest rommie...

2009-02-26T19:53:00.000-08:00

she is even stupider than fafa
my gosh
she cant distinguish the moon from stars...
whereas she studied astronomy at USC（university of spoiled child)
and she's going to Harvard Business School
What a shame at American Educational System @____@
Well
I'M GOING TO HARVARD LAW...

This is my outstanding brother...

2009-02-25T17:44:00.000-08:00

my so beloved brother loves to share his life...

From FaceBook:

Alexander is staying in a hotel in HK for work, smells like a New Jersey DD.....

Alexander is having a 7am conf call...bad idea for a night person.

Alexander commented on Connie Cao's photo. 10:41pm
Reminds me of my birthday party there 4 years ago....miss the godiva cheesscake

Alexander thinks the Singapore Ritz is not up to standard, how could they stuff up the bill and think that I'm an Indonesian, and re-charge me without telling me!!!

Alexander is feasting on seafood.

Alexander is having a nice dinner in Shanghai.

Alexander needs prophylaxis for Mondayitis.

Alexander had a fun time at the workshop.

Alexander just had a huge new year's eve dinner.

Alexander is on vacation in Taiwan - finally!!

Alexander just figured out how to use my blackberry as bluetooth modem!!

Alexander can't see anything out of his hotel window in Beijing, need to recalculated my HALE.

Alexander has had enough flying for now and will spend a record of 4 nights in Hong Kong.

Alexander is heading back to Hong Kong after a tiring 24 hr visit to Tokyo.

Alexander is soooo late for the airport even by consultant standards.

Alexander is feasting in Taiwan.

its just a drop in the bucket...
Why is my brother like this?
Is he the King of parade...

Could they be more feckless?

2009-02-22T01:09:00.000-08:00

Do you still want to get into it after seeing the prospective classmates in this picture?

I have to say...

2009-02-19T08:48:00.000-08:00

My小藥丸works!!!

I CANNOT FINISH MY HOMEWORK NOW!

2009-02-17T00:19:00.000-08:00

我不要讀書了
救命啊

write me a love letter before my hair turns grey

2009-02-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

“...What words are there that I can possibly summarize 65 years of love,
and more than 23,000 morning where I woke up to your smile.

I can still remember the first as if it were yesterday,
and on this morning, I assure you,
it was every bit as beautiful

To say the least,
We've passed the tests of time,
survived the distances of war,
and witnessed three generations of love blossom from our own,

So I promise you,
Wherever it is I am going,
my heart will remain with you until we meet again”

Good Night California

2009-02-02T17:49:00.000-08:00

planning to go back to new york on my happy valentines day
someone is shirking some promised "update"
so
I have to punish this desperado for his crime

motherfucker flatmate

2009-02-02T16:31:00.000-08:00

If I list one event per day that my flatmate does to piss me off, I need one month.

了了不了不甚了了

2009-01-17T12:20:00.000-08:00

樓梯 ,有沒有厭倦過往上 ?

照片 ,有沒有厭倦過記得 ?

牙刷 ,有沒有厭倦過牙齒 ?

灰塵 ,有沒有厭倦過漂浮 ?

火焰 ,有沒有厭倦過燃燒 ?

夢境 ,有沒有厭倦過嚮往 ?

死神 ,有沒有厭倦過殺戮 ?

愛神 ,有沒有厭倦過祝福 ?

Forever Flower

2009-01-04T23:47:00.000-08:00

we have been bound together like them
since we sat together like them

I love you more than I can say

我們是太陽花花

2009-01-01T12:03:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!!

Spotless Mind

2008-12-29T16:06:00.000-08:00

I HATE THIS MOVIE!
WHY YOU CANNOT STOP LOVING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPYFUCKINBIRTHDAY

好久沒有自拍了

2008-12-29T14:31:00.000-08:00

誰自拍不也都可以是張茆嗎
老娘我還沒化妝咧！！！

13個謊言

2008-12-08T08:44:00.000-08:00

身邊經常可見奇形怪狀的男子
打扮時髦出手大方善于與女子曖昧周轉靈活身上沒有承擔的重量
有些自戀到全身上下名牌
告訴你他的鞋子購自巴黎 coat來自東京
當然偶爾也能暢談一下哲學或詩歌時不時亮出無從考證的身份炫耀自己左右逢源的能力
浮躁虛榮無力
我們卻常常身陷諸如此類的男人之中眼花繚亂
卻難以找到一個品性溫厚如某某人的爸爸的男子

真正美好的男子他會偶爾煲出一鍋湯而非在酒吧呼喚朋友左擁右抱
他會是專注工作卻也獨具一格用一生來做對做好一件事
內心分明他的取舍和執著所在干凈健康

男人性感的最終的解釋就是女人愿意與之生兒育女成為他的妻子
謊言只是他成就性感的唯一的途徑罷了

15次妄想

2008-12-06T04:58:00.000-08:00

從15開始倒計時
看到0的時候會是什么

我每次坐飛機都買很多的巧克力
為著去遮蓋離開某處的傷感

hand washed cloths for the first time in my life...

2008-11-13T06:42:00.000-08:00

In a Cold City

2008-11-10T03:41:00.000-08:00

好冷的天
好想北京大排檔的小餛飩
大火燒開在湯里放上紫菜小蝦皮蛋絲榨菜
澆上醬油芝麻油盛到搪瓷碗里
一切都像上世紀八十年代一樣
我曾經在那個城市衍生和維持過的一切
在離開的時候就已全部終結
微小的回顧告訴我
對這個城市的感情還未曾消退

天冷了
我給我的小豆腐人綁上了圍巾
我也買了一條圍巾給你
雖然我一直說要織一條給你的
但我膽怯自己的手藝還是
算了

我愛上的人都會收到我送來的圍巾
我某年的圣誕送過誰圍巾
我某年的重陽也送過誰圍巾
但我永遠想不起來我在watsons買的那條三十幾塊的圍巾送給了誰
又是多少年前的一個寒冷的冬天
在一座寒冷的城市
做著寒冷的豆芽夢

Reading b4 SingK

2008-11-08T14:41:00.000-08:00

以前覺得睡到中午12點就很了不起了
現在睡到下午2點還算是起得早的

唉
唉唉
唉唉唉
唉唉唉唉
我要看書去了

Do in US as CHINA Does

2008-11-08T05:37:00.000-08:00

我生活在美國卻instinctively過著中國的時間
我整個apartment都很不入鄉隨俗的在過中國的時間

Sleepless Night With Sleepy Eyes

2008-11-07T16:42:00.000-08:00

Me and My SEXY BOOMS

Some Sticky Fun-seekers

My peeping teethridge & Drunk Miss Japan

Excuse me, I think you are pulling my garment.
Oh, simultaneously, where's my so longing to come Cari?

Hahahahahaaaaaa...
Hardworking Kid.

Weeping Time With Loving Rhyme
You're The Sweetest Demon In My Mind

I wanna hold you...

2008-11-02T01:56:00.000-07:00

I miss you, my dearest man yuen duck!

loathe hating

2008-10-22T01:36:00.000-07:00

thinking about the peppered wall of Xi'an Incident
and hating your stupid male chauvinism

Stimulate my Sunday Night

2008-10-20T05:48:00.000-07:00

My babyish Disneyesque coffee cup and 3am monday morning

Merci beaucoup^^ Coffee

35" count down--loves

2008-10-19T19:11:00.000-07:00

For Sara and John

For we waiting girls

For everybody

For prime us

For you two special people

For college time

For first time pain

For sunflowers

For fairy tales

For best friend

For sadness

For interest

For childhood

You Belong to Me

2008-09-17T05:31:00.000-07:00

"Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember till you're home again
You belong to me

I'd be so alone without you
Maybe you'd be lonesome too in blue"

Home Sweet Home

2008-09-16T23:17:00.000-07:00

我安頓好了...
This is my little cozy luxury department.
With my two very best friends.
I'm in heaven... truly.

摘自: On the Train:
她深信:自己還是戀上了這個人,毫無疑問(冰永遠冷,玫瑰永遠紅).並且這戀情將把自己帶往什麼地方,可自己早已無法從那強大的水流中爬上岸來,因為自己毫無選擇餘地.自己被帶去的地方,也許是從未見過的特殊天地,或是危險場所也未可知.也可能那裡潛伏的東西將給自己以深深的致命傷害.說不定現在已然到手的東西都將損失一盡.但自己已別無退路,只能委身於眼前的激流---縱使自己這個人在那裡灰飛煙滅.

好美.

Pensando en ti siempre

2008-09-16T04:08:00.000-07:00

I miss you so...